Falsafa

Rabbi Shergill, one of my most favorite contemporary musicians has sung a song on my most favorite city in the world.

Jaagegi raat bhar
Aur bhagegi saath parr
Kar dalegi belagam khayalon ko
Poochhegi yeh sawal
Aur mangegi yeh hisaab
Na sunegi tere jawabon ko
Yahan hain ek nadi
Aur wahan ek lal qila
Par kahan hain is shahar ka falsafa

I am keen to know who wrote the lyrics. Only someone who loves Delhi passionately could have described her as a tempestuous woman.

What Life Said On February 22, 2007

When I first landed in the US, the first month saw me thinking to myself at least a dozen times every day, “Wow! This is blog material. Let me make a mental note, I am going to write about this as soon as possible.”

Nearly seven months later, I can sense that drive decreasing. I hope that that is only because I have never been more busy in my life than I am at present: I have never had to read more, I have never had to write more, I have never had to be more careful of what I say and do, I have never been more active in student groups than I am now, I have never had to learn so much, retain it and use it immediately. I have never craved more for a holiday, for home, for people to understand what I am saying and what I am actually trying to say.

I have also never enjoyed the experience of being a student more than I am at present.

But I hope I am actually not losing interest in blogging because that would be sad, I mean KI just celebrated her first birthday! It would be disastrous for her if I tell her tomorrow, “That’s it. I am deleting you now!” So much for the nurturing instincts of a mother!

Shoving aside that murderous thought…

Today was a good day because it reiterated to me why some people refuse to leave the world of academics, either as a teacher or a student. One of the young men I coached this morning was incredibly intelligent. There must be very few pleasures in the world that come close to the kind of satisfaction one derives from coming across an absolutely brilliant, untapped mind…the sort you instinctively recognize as capable of lots of good things.

And why do some people refuse to leave the status of a student? Because student-hood automatically implies a commitment to mischief. Such as passing notes during a lecture, because you and the person sitting next to you have just discovered and agreed on who fits the tag of “The Class Bore”. And what could be more enjoyable than passing notes to each other that discuss The Bore in more and more entertaining words, all the while trying to remain undetectable to the professor as well as to other classmates?

Dear G, it was good fun today. Thanks, let’s do this again in the next class, shall we?

Colors

On February 13, 2002, an angry article of mine got published in The Pioneer, New Delhi edition. In it I ripped apart everyone who ever celebrated Valentine’s Day. I called it nearly everything that Shiv Sena/VHP etc call it but with a difference. I insisted that I don’t need a day to tell someone I love that I love him. I will do it even without Archie’s and Hallmark breathing down my neck and Delhi Times splashing every conceivable “combo” option in my face. And I did just that, I told my then boyfriend quite frequently that I loved him. Neither of us waited for VDay’s permission to tell us how to behave with one another.

Five years later, I feel somewhat differently. Valentine’s Day doesn’t make me that angry anymore although I too have loved and lost several people. To me today, Valentine’s Day is a day of stocktaking. Of not just the romantic relationship one might or might not be in. It is a day of counting blessings, of appreciating those wonderful people I still have in my life from last year, and of those that I might not next year because of a million probable reasons: distance, lack of time or energy, maybe a huge fight over an important issue or non-issue, or worse, letting something like ego come in between and transform a regular human being into something that's cold, unapproachable, and with a I-couldn’t-be-bothered-about-whether-I-have-hurt-someone stance.

Yesterday, a chance surfing on Orkut took me to a friend’s page where she had uploaded one of her favorite songs and written alongside it something to the effect “I wonder why relationships change color and eventually become colorless”. To all those of you reading this, may none of your relationships ever lose color.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Splinters Of Your Soul

My favorite self analysis exercise over several years now has been to ask myself two questions at least once every day.
The first one is, “Who was the first person I thought of when I woke up this morning, and what does that mean?’ More than anything else, what this exercise achieves is that it unclutters my brain. It tells me exactly that in the ever widening sea of people I get to know, who are the ones I retain and why.

The second question is, “What would I rather be doing at this point of time?” Every time the answer is “This”, I am satisfied. But every time the answer is something else, I know I am not doing what I ought to be doing, or what I would rather be doing. That means, it’s time for change. It’s time for self evaluation, it’s time to go ahead and take steps to ensure that sooner than later I end up doing what I want to do. It helps set my priorities right.

The place where I ask this particular question to myself every nine seconds or so is a dance floor. Tell me to address a crowd, I will. Tell me to eat something that most people would think twice about, I will. Tell me to spend a night in an unknown, dark, big house, I will. But tell me to dance, and I will freeze. Not that I am this conscious on every dance floor. There are gradations of course. A close friend’s house, and I will be okay. Primarily because most of my close friends are not the dancing-gyrating types. Secondly, because at such houses, I will always have the option of glaring. Thirdly, even if I am forced to shake a leg, and I do end up doing so, they would find it in themselves to forgive me for that horrifying visual splendor and I will still be embraced with the same indulgence and love as before. But a dance floor that has strangers, or people I barely know makes me cringe and ask myself the question, “Where would I rather be at this point of time?” literally, as I said, every nine seconds. And the answer varies. It could range from the incredible “With Indiana Jones at the Temple of Doom”, to the peaceful “Inside the University of Idaho library”, to the exciting “Packing my bags to go to someplace new”, to the challenging “Debating over coffee about literature, religion, history, politics with some of the finest minds I know in Moscow”, to the excruciating “Writing a new story”, to the fun “Walking in Dilli Haat” , or the simple “Having a single, meaningful conversation that strikes a chord somewhere to become an indelible memory”.

Ask yourself these questions today, and I am assuming that you can share the answer of the second question at least, if not the first. Because I do want to know what you would rather be doing at this moment, instead of staring into your desktop/laptop, and answering a vague question on someone’s (equally vague?) blogpost.

I am waiting.

Investments

Those of you who know Rohit, well, good for you. Those of you who don’t, please “go and f#$% a pole” to use his own words. Although why either you or anyone in this world would want to do that to the pole or yourself is beyond my understanding. But then that’s Rohit. However, why this introduction about him? Is this post a testimonial to his wonderful wit, or warmth? Naah! Although he is all this and more. This post is instead about a decision Rohit and I took some months back, and one that we would like to tell the whole world about. So read on, enlightenment (and a ticket to paradise) is just a few sentences away.

After much thought and deliberation, Rohit and I have decided to get ourselves a country. We are not sure what we are going to call it. Any suggestions in terms of names are welcome, of course. But we are not letting everyone we love force entry into this country and claim citizenship. There are going to be rules, and strict ones at that. You will have to either fulfill Rohit’s conditions or mine in order to gain entry. If you are particularly well-behaved, by which we mean that if you happen to fulfill both our conditions, you will be entitled to dual citizenship...that of our country and of anywhere else that you might want to preserve, such as India.

So, Rohit’s rules:
1. You must loudly profess and practice a liking for beer and good music (No Himesh)
2. You must be technologically sound, by that we mean proficiency in Google Talk to start with
3. You must be honest and sincere

My rules:
1. You shall not have any regional, religious or such inane bias
2. You shall dabble in at least something creative be it art, photography, architecture, music, writing. Our fellow blogger friend Amiya is creative when it comes to crossing roads. That counts.
3. You shall not be a boring academic genius. You could have won every significant academic prize in your life, but if we don’t discover a passion for life in you, you’re disqualified.

Common rules:
1. You shall have a sense of humor
2. You must be a raving insomniac (although post America, my insomnia is usually under control. For utterly selfish reasons, I want to thank heavens that Rohit’s isn’t.)
3. You must have caffeine (and not blood) flowing in your body

And what rewards await those that decide to come to us and join our country? Lots of laughter, good food and drink, and unpredictability.

The year 2006 has by far been the most incredibly dramatic year of my life. In so many ways, it has come closest to the kind of time I would ideally design for myself. The decision to come to USA was perfect. At the risk of sounding selfish, this entire exercise showed how much everyone in my life adopted my dream as their own. (Forgive me for being shallow enough to think only about my life here, but there is something about the 31st of December that makes you want to do that, doesn't it?) So thanks to everyone who listened while I ranted or sobbed my heart out, who researched something that I couldn’t find time for, who got me freelance jobs just so I could earn some extra money, who answered every dull and dumb question that I found it in myself to ask, who put in comforting words, encouraging hugs, regular phone calls, and quirky smses. At the same time, there were some letdowns. But today, that’s fine too...it’s after all the eternal battle between having expectations and meeting them. All is good right now, the year is ending on a positive note, and that’s all that matters.

What else did I do this year? I traveled; got some fabulous gifts; discovered a lucky shirt; made new friends; taught history, English and world religions; wrote and rewrote extensively; sampled a humongous variety of food; learnt new crafts like fishing and making coffee using a percolator; had conversations with people from countries as varied as Peru, Japan, Zimbabwe, Thailand, Germany, Mexico, China, Togo, Kenya, St Vincent, Spain, and France; and relearnt my life's priorities.

Before I sign off, let me request you all to read this blog. Do pay attention to the url because that will tell you so much about the writer in question, but most importantly read the post titled Looking Back at 2006. It is the worldview of my fourteen-year-old cousin, Sinjini Sengupta, an incredibly bright, focused, and ambitious kid, and now an avid blogger as well. Do leave your comments there, encouragement does wonders for all of us after all. And I have my sights set on her. I know she is going to make our family proud.

Happy New Year everyone!
May 2007 be absolutely delicious for each one of you!

Utopia

In my perfect world:
• Clothes would wash and dry themselves
• The rupee would be the most powerful currency
• The University of Idaho would be relocated to somewhere near Delhi
• There would be no snow on the sidewalks
• Delhi roads would be safe for women no matter what time of the day
• There would be no bananas
• Child molesters would get the death penalty
• Chocolates, icecreams, Bloody Mary, rum and coke will be healthy food
• I would have a movie theater sized screen in my house
• My brother and I would always be able to do our Sunday morning ritual
• Orkut would automatically ban people wanting “to do friendship” with me
• Everyone would brush their teeth twice at least
• Mandira Bedi would wear blouses
• Daniel Craig would be my next door neighbor
• Amitabh Bachhan would not have done that role in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
• Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna would not have been made
• International phone calls would be cheap
• I would win the Pulitzer, Booker, and the Nobel
• Everyone will be in the same time zone all over the world
• There would be a plum job waiting for me in one of the premier publishing houses in
Delhi the moment I return
• Emran Hashmi would keep his mouth shut
• Tweaking eyebrows would be the most painless act ever
• Bon Jovi’s Its My Life would be the national anthem
• My current favorite tracks – Dor’s Yeh Honsla and Salam E Ishq’s Dil Kya Kare would play themselves again and again
• Ipods would grow on trees
• There would be samosa/kachori/papri chaat/dahi bhalla/jalebi/gajar ka halwa/kulhar
wali chai ki dukan/Murthal’s parathas in accessible corners of all cities of the
world
• I would be able to just close my eyes and do my favorite road trip, from Delhi to
Chandigarh, as often as possible
• People would be imprisoned if they didn’t keep their word
• Traveling across the world would be the easiest thing to plan
• You would get money if found wearing the color red
• The people I love would never misunderstand me
• The people who care about me would put up with my temper all the time
• Fidelity and honesty would be the most aspired and sought after virtues
• I would never have to give up a friend