The Other

I am (finally) convinced that differences between man and man do not exist, in fact, these differences are myths. The world should not be divided between man and man, instead it should be divided in two equal halves one with men and the other with women.

Seriously, if one more man tells me that “He wants to lead a simple life and not complicate things”, I will throw up. And I mean it.

Sample the following two conversations, both of which occurred on the same day within a spate of four hours, so please find it in your heart to forgive my frustration which has resulted in this post.

The first one was with one of my dearest friends in the US. He had not come down to Moscow during the Celebrate Sayantani Carnival, which takes place every year to coincide with my birthday. He had let me know on Google Talk that he won’t be able to come because some work had come up. Fine, I understand. People have lives, other things to do, ignore me, etc. But at least he should have called, said “Happy Birthday” and slammed down the phone, or emailed a one-liner. But what does he do? Nothing! I don’t hear a single syllable from him. So I sit over this, fuming my brains, getting even more angry, and grinding my teeth more than I should. Finally, I can’t control myself anymore, and also because I (usually) do not let arbit, stupid incidents spoil great friendships, plus of course, I have to flaunt my newly bought phone...so I end up calling him. Here’s what happens:

Scene I
“M, are you alive?”
“Hey, it’s you! Where are you calling from? You got a phone?”
“Cut the crap. Are you alive?”
“Yeah.”
“You remember the event called MY BIRTHDAY?”
“Yeah.”
“You know you didn’t call or email, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop being a monosyllabic moron and tell me why you didn’t.”
“Because I knew you were mad at me.”
“Of course I was. I still am.”
(By this time, I can hear laughter from the other side.)
“Then why are you calling me?”
“To yell at you of course. The whole idea is that I yell at you, get it out of my system, you listen without a word, ok ok ok…maybe two or three words can be sanctioned to you. Then you apologize profusely, and we laugh over the whole thing, and become buddies again.”
“Sheesh...I just didn’t call because I knew you were mad at me and I didn’t want to get you to become madder. I just want to keep things simple and not have them get complicated, you know.”
“Ugh. Of course I know. You are such a man. And now we both know that you are a jackass of the first order as well.”

Laughter again. Friendship renewed. Conversation goes on for another 30 minutes. Life is good.

Scene II
This takes place later in the day when I am sitting in a café doing homework. A close friend calls. Here’s what happens then:
“What’s happening?”, he asks.
“Nothing much. At One World doing homework. You?”
“Feeling depressed.”
“Why?”
“You know why! I am still missing her. You know she was just so incredible….blah blah blah....”
(This goes on for five-seven minutes at least before I interrupt and say the following)
“Hmm...I am not her you know that, right?”
“Of course!”
“And we don’t love each other in that sense, you know that too, right?”
“Err...yeah!”
“Then why can you not disconnect this call and call her instead? We have talked about this whole thing before. You know already that I think it's your fault and you should give this one more decent attempt.”
“I don’t want to complicate things!”
“J, shut up. Disconnect. Call her. Or go and write poetry. I have homework to do.”
“Man, you are mean!”
“No sweetheart, I am just matter of fact.”

Really, ladies, it’s us versus them. Separate planet, anyone?