The Goddess of Emails

The first time I moved out of my parents' home to start living independently was when I got a job in Chandigarh. As far as I was concerned, this was a big step. I had just quit working as an editor in a publishing house that believed in paying peanuts but producing close to 65 books a month. Compare it to most other publishing houses in India, this number is about 13 times the normal, industry output. I had worked there for a year and realized that although fun, the insane workload and the exploitative boss were not worth it.

Chandigarh looked exciting because I was joining a big, multinational corporation, where I would be only one among the 2000+ employees they already had. I was going to earn nearly twice of what I had been making. I was moving in to a new city, where I knew no one, I would have to start to learn how to cook, keep house, pay all my bills, etc. etc. Exciting as this, it was also nerve-wracking, and scary.

But most importantly, it was intimidating. Even the thought that I wouldn't walk home and see my parents and my brother everyday was enough to depress me. Add to that the fact that I would have to leave nearly all my friends behind. I wanted to include them all in my life, as I previously had.

Blogging hadn't captured the imagination of the world back then. So I decided to use the then time-honored practice of writing one good, solid email, and then sending it to nearly all my friends. I would like to think that the emails were detailed and chatty, that they were interesting and not sleep-inducing, and that they hinted, subtly, that the sender was desperate for responses. Because she was lonely and homesick.

Some friends replied fairly frequently. Others once in a while. Yet others, never. It was the last group that baffled me. What happened? Didn't they like me any more? Was it the classic out of sight out of mind syndrome? Or didn't they get my email? Or did my email offend them in some way?

Finally, curiosity got the better of me. So, one day, I picked up the telephone and called one of these inscrutable folks. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, I asked the question I had been dying to ask.

"Oh, yes, " my friend said, "I got all your emails."
"But I never heard back from you."
"I didn't think it was that important."
"Why not?"
"Well, these were all mass emails, right? Sent to everyone? These aren't something you had composed or sent just to me. So, I thought it was okay to not respond."

I got such a "mass email" today. I am going to reply to it as soon as this post is up. At the same time, I know for a fact that forget mass emails, I have been fairly infrequent in the recent past vis-a-vis personal emails.

In the complex pantheon of gods that is Hinduism, we need one for email etiquette. And I want Her to bless me with fingers that can type faster, a mind that can think of perfect responses every single time, and a conscience that does not forgive slacking.

I am waiting for an email with the subject line "Tathastu!" to reach me at sayan10e@gmail.com. ASAP.