Five years later, I feel somewhat differently. Valentine’s Day doesn’t make me that angry anymore although I too have loved and lost several people. To me today, Valentine’s Day is a day of stocktaking. Of not just the romantic relationship one might or might not be in. It is a day of counting blessings, of appreciating those wonderful people I still have in my life from last year, and of those that I might not next year because of a million probable reasons: distance, lack of time or energy, maybe a huge fight over an important issue or non-issue, or worse, letting something like ego come in between and transform a regular human being into something that's cold, unapproachable, and with a I-couldn’t-be-bothered-about-whether-I-have-hurt-someone stance.
Yesterday, a chance surfing on Orkut took me to a friend’s page where she had uploaded one of her favorite songs and written alongside it something to the effect “I wonder why relationships change color and eventually become colorless”. To all those of you reading this, may none of your relationships ever lose color.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
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31 comments:
This takes me back to school - I remember how we used to laugh at our classmates when they used to go bonkers over VDay and jazz.
Man, how wonderfully have they been making money all these days - Sister/Mother/Father's Day.. I wonder why people need just a day to express themselves. I totally agree with what you wrote.
Anyway - it has been a dramatic 'VDay' so to say. Things change and even these silly things bring back so much.
And now I know what lack of energy can do to a 'relationship.' Frikkin complicated though.
By the way, MF.
cant agree more on it.....tho i still think its a day which has been too much hyped up by the media and cardcompanies......still i like the feel good air in everyone........
i wish u wud have written a lil bit abt ur experience of vday in usa to put the things in right perspective about the way its done out there in minds of indians.....
Came back to the post.
Oh and the silly day has actually made me kick one from my list.
'A Day' is a wonderful concept according to me. It purpose for me is to remind you of something, that you may have been lazy about or plain forgotten. So that means I can voluntarily decide if I may be inspired by 'the Day' and if I don't need reminders.....well I just choose to ignore it.
And that goes for all my days:
I am going to get drunk days(Falls on the days i choose to go to Moscow)
I can't belive today is a holiday(falls on May 1st..coincides with Maharashtra day)
I am not going to be scammed day ( Feb 14th)
.......
For good or for bad , this year i chose to be inspired :)
"I-couldn’t-be-bothered-about-whether-I-have-hurt-someone stance"
sometimes you get a pleasure out of it you can't define but then that pleasure is just a sheath, that too a defective one, to suppress something that won't let you live. survival strategy, i guess...
i agree.. V-day, Mother's day. Father's day.. and all those days that archies and hallmarks makes cards for and is unable to sell them.. so they commercialize these days.. and we help them sell..
so to me .. i will express my feelings as and when i want to. .i most certainly dont need 'A' day!!
i do agree with 'deeps' it does give a feel good air .. and with shardul that it helps him remember days!
but i think i agree most with Rohit! totally "lack of energy.. frikkin complicated"!!
Happy V-day to u too!
I remember that angry article very well. We had taken a printout of that article after u had emailed it to us. I still remember one sentence..."My boyfriend gave me 50 roses!"
I agree that one does not or should not need a particular day to express love.
As for your wish, I wish the same for you. :-)
Agreed that one doesnt need a special day to celebrate love but there is no harm in having one more day to celebrate life...whatsay! This was my first VDay wid my husband and I surprised him wid bouquet,card and gift and the smile on his face was worth celebrating the day :) and the preparations were adventurous too...I went on my own to the market,lost my way and found it again...so it was good fun :D
Belated Happy V-Day to u too dudette!
Take care
It makes sense....I always wonder why people have so much problem with "the" day.
If taken in the right spirit it is fun. But going over your means just to show the other person you care doesnot make too much sense!
Though I always have a torrid time on the day! Only day that makes me sad about my single status...as soon as its over I am back to single and happy :)
@ RT
I know how dramatic your day was...it was the conversation with you, among other things, that prompted me to write the post in the first place.
@ D
Valentine's Day in USA? At least in our university town where you would think that there would be tremendous enthusiasm and exuberance surrounding this event...there was none. Most people went about their daily lives as before. I was downtown with a friend last evening, and the main square had rose petals scattered on it. And to top it, it was raining. That was quite a pretty experience.
@ RT
:) Take care.
@ Shardul
I know that you got inspired. Saw the proof last night. Your mama status got reinforced because of your consideration. :)
@ Burf
Care to explain some more? Your lines have got me intrigued to say the least.
@ M
Shall we have a Roomies' Day?
Although we do end up having those fairly often.
@ Butterfly
:D
Wow...that's some dedicated reading. That's why I love you so much.
@ Richa
Thank you!
@ Minerva
That's great to hear. Keep up the good work. :D
Where's the recipe I had asked you for btw?
@ B
Hee hee hee. I was reading some statistics about how much we Indians spend on VDay at present, and the numbers are mind-boggling. Let me try and send you the link from the BBC website.
[i am deviating from my stand] there could be both kind of people:-
one, who really do not care
two, who try not to care [which you might understand can be problematic]
For the past few years, I've been blessed with a husband whose complete lack of romantic sensibility allows this day to pass as any other. I, however, am committed to using this day in particular to take the opporunity to tell those whom I love, just that. I know one doesn't need a "a day" to do so, but it does make it nice. I send cards or flowers and make cupcakes or cookies...I have done so for years...and for friends and family only...never had a lover/boyfriend/whatever...so this day was for my sister, my best friends, etc. And this it remains. This year, an extra special dinner for my hubbie..sweets for my sister...and, in return, irises from my sweet sister. No red, no hearts...just a simple opportunity to express that which we too often take for granted!!
AND, a great day to reach out to those you inadvertently or advertently tossed aside in the past!!
My feelings of V Day have been vented out and I shall soon follow up with the proposed post. All I want to say was that the line was remarkable. Colors indeed!!!
Lovely write up.
perspective makes all the difference
however petulant i might have grown of the plethora of 'days' being thrown into our lives off late(courtesy Archies/hallmark and other commercial outfits),i would still like to agree with Shardul here..
Talking abt V-day in particular, there is somthing infectious in the air when every one around u is going all mushy and u can't help but get bitten by the same bug!
Though at the end of the day, i think it all boils down to expressing your feelings to ur loved ones, which might have been lying dormant for some time. And this expression can be brought out by simple gestures and words...sans the fancy, expensive Archies 'love' pieces.
Belated Valentine's Day!
I have mixed feelings abt this "being too happy on v-day" concept!
After all the poor guy supposedly DIED in the process!!
(One of my Favourite Shakespeare quotes (maybe also for the fact that I actually remember it!) goes like this:
Men have died and worms have eaten them,
But not for love(!!)
hehehe wise fellow that Shakespeare guy...)
Through observation and personal experiences, I have reached the conclusion that yes! Love is important but so is respect, so is humanity, so is the ability of accepting people the way they are!
I have always had an innate suspicion for the day - no doubt I love the drama of hearts, cards, gifts, roses and other accoutrements as much as the next person - but isnt it all too much like some elaborate bribing scheme?? - forcing yourself to believe that what you are feeling is a candy-pink emotion and reinforcing it is necessary to sustain it's existance and therefore you should give your normal sane self up and end up buying stuff saying "Never Me without You"!!
But like Shardul - i accept the convenience of having this day to make up for all the chances I missed of appreciating people i care for! :-)
Why do u post a post in ages..... when you know there are desperate readers like us who are waiting with baited breaths to read your new posts....... i know a bit exaggerating...... but gist of it i look forward to reading your post they are kinda inspiring and sorry if the above sounded like a crib story.
@ Burf
Hmm...a comment on the sad state of the world.
@ Preeti
Sounds like you know the perfect way to celebrate Valentine's Day. Wonderful...we should all learn from you.
@ Kanu
Thanks. And I will look forward to the post.
@ Kip
WHERE are you? Why no reply to my last email?
@ Kavya
You are right. Incidentally, I read something to the effect that Archies had more than 400 kinds of cards made this year!
@ Keka
Did the guy really die in the process? I had no idea! Poor thing!
Hee hee hee...I like the way you put across your suspicion of the day.
@ Aqui
:) Thank you for the reminder!
Just that I have never been busier than I am right now.
Or perhaps, all this writing work is actually making me lose interest in writing my blog.
i just figured one more money making scheme.. let's sell Room-mate's day to Archies and Hallmark.. can you imagine!
*yoohooo*
@ M
And you and I could be the brains behind this scheme and include categories such as Note Keeping, Beef Cooking, Fish Frying, Thawing with the Microwave, Giving Every New Person and Product A Chance, Saving Water, Marrying off Laptops, Showing and getting stuck with Shawshank Redemption, Trying to Use Even the Last Drop of Oil/Liquid etc.
What say?
:)
this happens and remind me another song by Nelly
" why do good things come to an end "
but we cant appriciate colors if we don know meaning of "colorless"
:)
Valentine's Day irritates me because of two things: one, all the blatant in-your-face marketing gimmicks, and two, people behaving all silly because they think that's how they're 'supposed' to behave that day. That 'supposed' part is what annoys me. I don't have any issue with anyone being silly, non-silly, lovey-dovey or whatever... but do it if you feel like being that way, not because it's the 14th of Feb and the newspapers tell you that people "in love" (also note the cynical quotes, please) are supposed to be found in coffee houses that day with red heart-shaped balloons (yes! hot on campus this time!) being all cooey shmoozy.
Can't comment on the rest of the post, nothing to say there.
Been a week.
COOL!
I've always found the concept of Valentine's Day absurd. I too strongly believe that you don't need a special day to tell your loved one that you love him/her. As I am writing, I realize though, that what you do on Valentine's Day is do swet nothings for your partner (or so I guess!), try and make them feel special. This day, if taken in that pirit, can be a reminder of the fact that this should be done out of the blue fr your partner on any day unexpectedly. That's what would make them feel special. We tend to ignore these little happinesses these days, or that they fizzle out after the initial burst of enthusiasm in a relationship.
One reason I would support Valentine's Day is to oppose the RSS/VHP/Shiv Sena or any other agancy/organization that takes it upon itself to preserve and safeguard "Indian" culture. What I mean is, people are absolutely free to court, date or make love to anybody they like anyday. Whether they do it on each day or on a common day by consensus is entirely upto them. Nobody's got the right to say whether it is right or wrong, or if they'll be allowed to go out or not. I've had friends staying indoors specifically because of this reason. Even my dad was once herded away, along with the others, from a conference with all middle-aged men in the 32nd Milestone on 14th Feb. It's irritating.
@ Chitrangada
Wise words woman. :)
@ Amiya
Heart shaped balloons were hot on the campus when I was there! That was nearly seven years ago...you folks should have moved ahead and found something fancier!
And yeah, that "supposed to" wala behavior irritates the hell out of me too.
@ Praveen
Really long time, but just as always, I will tell you once again, I appreciate your coming here, reading and commenting.
I want an email with the details of both these women asap. Come on, you can't not tell me stuff now just because I am not a phone call away.
:)
"Though I want to ignore all all this marketing/media blitzkrieg around me, iam sucked into it. It affects me, my life. I can't do much about it."
Someone else said that to me a few days ago...so you are not alone. And that's always something to rejoice about.
@ Rohit
Haanji. Naya post upload ho gaya hain. Ab to tu gussa nahin hain? Vaise reminders such as these work for me. Thank you.
@ Aritro
Eta ekta comment holo? Konta cool, keno cool...kichhu to bolbi.
@ Swetank
From all that I read, it seemed that RSS and its sister concers couldn't or didn't do too many awful things this time on VDay. I shall just sit and celebrate that bit of intelligence on their part.
i am like really late..but then its good to b late than never..hehe..
i did see all of that happening this 14th..and a sentence that particularly irritated me was...a shopkeeper to a young girl at archies.."buy the big teddy..only then will you get a bigger one"..limits!
@ Komal
YUCK!
Did he actually say that?!
Yuck...terribly yuck.
in complete agreement to that ! I dont need a special day to tell my family or frnds, what they mean to me...
shiv sena is a bit more hyper bout it than it originally should.only if they cud put their point across in a more sensile and convincing manner.
but on valentines, i too got Abhi a rose... just like that !
@ Suru
And what was Abhi's reaction?
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